I watched Gallagher smash watermelons and you can too

I saw Gallagher on Hilton Head Island Saturday night. I’ll give you a second to mull that over since there’s such a disparity between the watermelon-smashing comedian and the resort island.

It’s true, Gallagher came to Hilton Head, and one of my reporter friends got to interview him in advance of the show and snagged us free tickets. (He’ll be coming to Raleigh in a couple of weeks).

I didn’t know what to expect. I remember spotting a much younger Gallagher smashing watermelons into a plastic-covered crowd on several late night channel-surfing sessions. I always thought it was stupid, and really, it sort of is, but when you’re in the crowd (especially just out of range of flying bits of food) it becomes incredibly amusing.

Here’s how it unfolded. First, Gallagher opened up for himself, warming up the crowd by making fun of them and telling some jokes. Then, when it was time for his show to begin, he introduced himself and started his routine. He apparently traded in his famous striped shirt for a T-shirt provided by the club that was hosting him (which he later removed, along with his pants, possibly to keep from getting more messy but more likely because he likes the way it feels when bits of food his bare chest).

His act featured some politically incorrect jokes and some down right offensive jokes (including one about Ted Kennedy that made most of the audience groan). He apparently doesn’t like gay people or anyone from Mexico, because it seemed he targeted those two groups the most. He pulled some young girls on stage and made them wear underware vests that he created. Then he finally began mixing some pies to smash. The ingredients ranged from dog food mixed with Pepto-Bismol to cottage cheese, a head of lettuce coated in flour and, of course, watermelons.

Watch him smash some of those pies in this video clip:

By the way, the stage reeked after the show.

So Gallagher is apparently performing five shows at Goodnight’s in Raleigh July 24 to 26. Although, it’s a little unclear whether he’ll be smashing stuff at Goodnight’s. The comedy club’s website says “bring your plastic” but it later contradicts the need for plastic by saying:

Don’t miss it when Gallagher brings his “No Sledge Tour,” featuring his classic stand-up and props (but none of the messy stuff) to Goodnights Comedy Club.

It may be worth checking with the club to confirm he’ll be smashing stuff before you buy tickets. Because, while some of Gallagher’s jokes were worth a laugh, the food smashing was really the most amusing part of the show.